Chris Collins :: a personal journal » work

vacation plans 2009

cj69collins — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 02:39:08 +0000

according to the company newsletter, the way days off will be alloted will change. Gone are sick days, which are now paid out if unused. All time is considered ‘vacation’, or, now, ‘personal time-off’. The bonus is two more days to the three former sickies. Since all time must be taken off, I am already thinking about when and where to plan my first vacation of 2009. This is, of course, ignoring what may go on in my life shortly into the new year.

I want to take my first in February, before I will be asked to make any changes. Since it is cold, I want to go to someplace warm. I have been curious about going to Mexico, and figure either Puerto Vallarta or Mexico City may be good. I am more an urban crawler than a beach crawler. So, my inclination may be towards the latter, though the beach is tempting. I will have a second Fort Lauderdale weekend in the past. I need to do some more research, especially to determine if it is as safe in either city as, say NYC, London, Amsterdam or Budapest. Plus, the travel accomodations need to be right.

a life less planned

cj69collins — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 01:01:21 +0000

I wake weekday at 06h30. I go to work for 08h00. I have lunch at 11h30. I leave work at 17h00. I have regular meetings. To take vacation, I need to plan the days well enough in advance. Every five weeks, I am on-call for off-hours IT support. I get paid every other week on a Thursday. Three times a week, I go to the gym, which I must schedule up to two weeks in advance to get a time conducive to my continued employment. I must pay my bills by a specific date of the month. My car needs regularly schedule maintenance. On top of all of that, I usually have a routine by which I conduct my off-hours. Usually, this involves a fair amount of social not-wokring at specific sites, depending on the day of week and my mood.

This routine, I believe, has resulted in weekends that are, at best semi-dull. I cannot just go to the shore, go to the casino, make a day trip into Philadelphia, or a weekend trip into NYC. This is about equal parts lack of incentive to really do anything fun, ‘considering’ the schedule for things I will be doing or need to do, and whether the money and time spent in maing fun happen is spent well. [i.e. will I really have fun?] I have no place to just ‘hang out’ for an afternoon or evening, just to be social and sociable in real life, to meet people for real, to meet real people. While, I will admit, I am seeking more order at work, I have come to the conclusion that I have too much order, obligation, regimentation, schedule and/or plan in my life. Now that I feel I am getting my social legs under me, really for the first time in my life, I have less incentive to have fun. As I lose the fear of doing things ‘because I will not be socially accepted while doing them,’ I feel a loss of incentive to do them because either ‘its time is past’ or, worse yet, ‘my time is past.’ More and more, I am getting bored trying to have fun, and that is because, I feel, I am no longer feel the spontaneity which allowed me to get over my fears and have fun. Things are just too well planned for me, and I do not like it.

detachment

cj69collins — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 01:39:20 +0000

I hellotxt‘d earlier today, ‘needs to detach and drift free for a while.’ Shortly after, I thought about that statement. Every time I leave the house for ‘shopping’ or ‘out and about’ or a ‘long weekend’ or ‘vacation’. I always considered it an escape, a getting away from the daily reality of life. Inevitably, that escape either does not work, or does not last beyond my arrival home, to my own bed. I believe now that is because I never detach from the everyday. Work obligations creep into my mind. They still hit my phone. I still connect to facebook, perhaps more. I still have the same anxieties I have in daily life. It is because, despite me desire to escape the everyday, I do not detach from the everyday. I cannot let go of the projects at work that are not competed, the ‘friends’ I have on the various services and stuff, the constant connectivity with the rest of the world, however superficial. In a way, I’d rather live my life vicariously through others rather than try living it myself, largely because it is almost easier to do so. Often, I believe this hyperconnected world we live in is causing most of us to be out of touch with reality, seeking instant gratification, thinking it is thoughtful analysis, the thoughtful analysis we are unwilling to do for ourselves. The noise level is so strong that ‘the truth’ is dictated by the loudest and most popular, rather than who is true. In the end, we all need to be entertained. That is what it comes down to for me. ‘Entertain me, or I will be disinterested in you.’ Pass the burden off.

I do need to detach from this ‘reality’ that I am ‘living’ in. I just need to figure out how.