20 years

That is how long I have been with my current employer. I have seen four significant ‘mergers’, changes in locations bosses and co-workers come and go, and the business grow to the point, when it was last sold, only one competitor, our largest, could buy it. I have seen the small company grow considerably, and have felt I contributed to that growth, in turn, learning about the business of wholesales distribution. A lot has change, and change is inevitable.Since the last merge, there has been a lot of angst on the part of nearly all my co-workers in the company as to the safety of their jobs. Already, one entire segment of the company was told they are redundant. That is the reality of ‘mergers’. That department was not mine. What is known is my company will merge into their computer system. My boss had already implied that they, like we, had investigated changing systems, but found their existing solution, self-developing a migration away from an antiquated system, fit their needs. There is two problems.

The first is that their solution is based on ‘technology’, [they are a Microsoft shop,] far different than ours. [We will be a Progress shop, running Sx.E up to the data merge.] I have been working, learning and growing with this for 18.5 of my 20 years. While I have dabbled in MSAccess and MSSQLServer in the past, it has been largely all Progress for the past five years. Add to that their solution was largely self-developed, while ours required outside consultants to make changes. [since the company's former ownership did not wish to invest in self-development.] While I can do wonders with the data in reporting and manipulation, I have no experience in actually hands-on enhancements to the actual system. Among my co-workers is an experienced web developer, and experienced SQL developer and admin, and an experienced network admin. My boss said their IT shop runs ‘lean’, and, likely, I would be redundant.

The second problem is my interaction with those on the other side. Except for the purchasing manager, who has been quite willing to talk, I have had precious little interaction with the opposite side of the organization. I do not know if they know I exist. I have not heard from my bosses new boss, who should have final say on my continued tenure. I have little direct interaction with was processes are already being merged. Few, if any, processes in place actually been considered. Not having a future is one thing. I get the all-too-distinct feeling my past is not even being acknowledged. I question, ‘why am I still here?’

I have been tempted to just turn-in my resignation. I cannot get over the feeling that, firstly, that would be a cop-out for a situation I hardly know is true, secondly, I am ill-prepared to re-enter the job market after 20 years, remembering I did not do so well the last time I was looking, and thirdly, not being so sure our President, Speaker and cronies has not yet fully ruined the US economy to the point I can find a job at close enough to the same earning and benefit level I have now, considering the experience I have will offer few prospects in the job market at the best of times. I am so scared of my prospects at this point, it makes me ill. I ask myself, ‘20 years, for what?’ I seriously wonder what my next move will be. It would be nice, though, to have the final word come from my new overlords that my time will soon be done. At least, then, I can be more resolute. Maybe. >_<