[not] pubbin’ & clubbin’

On 2005 April 11, fire damaged the historic sections of the Cartwheel nightclub. Since that was my primary socialization point with the fellow gays, I did not feel the desire to go anyplace else.
I did not want to go to two of the three gay hangouts near home for fear of seeing someone I’d much rather avoid than telling him that I really do not want to have much to do with him anymore, other than being passing acquaintances. I did not want to go to the third because I did not know the clientele mix. I did not like the other New Hope hangout, because it tended to have people as old or older than my father as normal clientele. That place was closed by its owners so they could open a new niteclub in a nearby hotel. I hear it is nice, but never bothered to venture down to it.

Since the fire, I have had little desire to ‘go pubbing or clubbing’ while at home. I have no problem doing it when I am away from home. Part of the reason I chose places to vacation is because of the evening hangouts. At home, I never seem to want to make the effort. At home, it would normally involve getting into the car and going. Away, I plan on never getting behind the wheel. Also, when away, I always feel the desire to meet new people, since it is rare that I would see these people before. At home, I feel I would meet the same people over and over. That is just boring. If I fail in my social graces while away, I will not be around week after week to remind people. Time makes memories fade, at least, for most people other than I. At home, on the other hand, I cannot escape them if I am there in people’s minds. The gays never forget if you don’t let them forget about you.

Maybe, those assumptions are wrong. Still, the longer I am away from the ‘normal’ scene, the less desire I have to be part of that scene. With nothing more than twitter and facebook acquaintances to keep me company, you think I was back in the closet. I think that, at times. With the number of paid days-off I got this year, and with how I am using those days, I am getting enough interaction to make me less desirous to go out at home. For most of the week, I am fine with it. But, that is why I sit at the computer most Saturday evening, doing the social not-working thing. Despite being bored, that is about all I can muster.